She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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