hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
