Screwed.edu
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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