Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
