SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This is my gift to your gina
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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