it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
