yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
