also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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