If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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