He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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