no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
