I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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