Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
