This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
