Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
