I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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