I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
