Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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