i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
