i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
