Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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