thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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