i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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