If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
