i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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