and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
