Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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