BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
