Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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