Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
