Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The power of my boobs compel you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
