she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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