they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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