I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize