just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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