Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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