I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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