You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
