Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
