...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
