lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
