I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
