Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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