I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
