what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
