So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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