Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
