I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
