Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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