saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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