Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
