I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
