K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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