i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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